i want to blog about my day, about my mother, about my sister, about the michael bolton being the most awesome person in the world that ever sang a song about jack sparrow, but i don't. my morning started early and was full of happy like tears. today has been here, but a bit off, and i am ready to just find my peace and blog tomorrow. my mom is such an amazing person that when i send her all of my positive thoughts she will not care that they came a day later than hallmark wanted me to send them. plus, we have already spent the weekend talking, and telling her over the phone that she is nothing short of amazing is just as meaningful as my mom day ramblings of the keyboard variety.
i will say this : the highlight of today was my 3 year old, gage, telling me "happy birthday mother's day!" and literally running towards me to hug me. to say i burst out into tears is an understatement. this day is not a celebration of me, to me, but a celebration of all the people in my life who helped me to be a mother. and i am grateful. and i am tired. and i am ready for a glass of wine.
to all the mothers, to all of my women friends, to all of the people that have had a mother to celebrate - happy mother's day. happy day in general. , ma
Showing posts with label mothers day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers day. Show all posts
5.08.2011
5.07.2011
sadistic slumbers
* i feel like i have to preface this blog by saying that i do not choose to watch the kardashians. but yes, i am a person that will stop to watch a train wreck if one happens in front of me. if, for some reason (the soup!), our tv is tuned to E! and the kardashians are on i cannot look away. they are such interesting people to me because i truly cannot understand why people would actually want to watch them. and yet, they are my television show equivalent of a train wreck.
this morning the husband let me sleep in. (i actually slept until 9 am!) for me, most of my crazy dreams happen after the sun has risen and i continue peacefully in my slumber, burritoed in my soft comforter and squishy pillows. today the crazy dreams reached a monumental peak by way of the kardashians. i will tell the dream as i saw it - please try not to judge my insanity too harshly.
we begin at a dive bar. the best way to describe this bar is dusty; the colors were very sepia toned and the faces of the people around me took on a very softened look. my husband and i were surrounded by some friends that are real in our life and some of, what i call, my dream friends (people that do not actually exist, but often pop up in my sleeping head.) we were deep in detective like conversation about the serial killings that were happening around us. the surroundings began to take shape as the conversation unfolded, sort of like they happen in a movie; where there is a description of events and places and the camera pans the location they are speaking about. the location was a large quarry with a giant mansion settled in to one of its ledges. the home was vibrant, but the surrounding were very gray and ominous looking. the dive bar happened to sit above the quarry and our homes were somewhere around, although never really shown in my dream. there was a television that was giving us the news of a serial killer in the area and the prime suspect was scott disick. anyone who has ever seen the kardashian shows would most likely agree that out of anyone on the E! network, scott would probably be the person voted most likely to be a creep ass killer. and yet, i was skeptical. we started to piece together the events and i started to argue with our group. is scott an ass? yes. but does being the world's most giant bag of douche make you a killer? not so much. i broke from the group and started a very video game like search for the killer. there were ledges to cross, clues that were grabbed by just the force of thought, and everything started to pull together. the video game like parts of my dream were vibrant, full of color and speed. the husband and i journeyed together and in picking up all the clues realized that it was actually rob kardashian that was the killer. and we brought it to everyone, who immediatly jumped to the defense of what they saw as such an innocent little guy, but the cops started to agree with me and finally i busted the case wide open. rob kardashian, serial killer. we found the clues all over the quarry and were congratulated for our hard work.
and then i woke up, because i could hear my little girl making noises from the other room and i knew that her dad did not have the same means to feed her that i did. and it took me a few minutes to realize what a crazy brain i live in. and i laughed. as much as i love my morning sleep in sessions, they send my dream brain to absolutely insane places. like i said, please do not judge me. you should hear about the crazy shit my mom dreams up!
lovely day in kerry land. we finally retrieved my summer wardrobe from storage and i found that last bit of motivation i need to lose the baby weight when absolutely nothing in my wardrobe fit me. i am going to dig down deep into my motivational bucket and pull that last bit out to help myself. i have been living in such a sad place for the last year and i am ready to help myself, finally. i need to do this because i want to feel better. the husband and ge went on a mother's day shopping trip and ge came home to tell me most of the presents that were bought and how excited he was to surprise me. chunk and i danced around the house a lot and i teared up several times thinking about how grateful i am to have the kids, the husband, and the family that i have.
i am looking forward to tomorrow because it is a day to reflect on my beautiful mother and the past that has brought me here today. it's like the facts of life always said : you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have. until tomorrow, goodnight and good wine.
this morning the husband let me sleep in. (i actually slept until 9 am!) for me, most of my crazy dreams happen after the sun has risen and i continue peacefully in my slumber, burritoed in my soft comforter and squishy pillows. today the crazy dreams reached a monumental peak by way of the kardashians. i will tell the dream as i saw it - please try not to judge my insanity too harshly.
we begin at a dive bar. the best way to describe this bar is dusty; the colors were very sepia toned and the faces of the people around me took on a very softened look. my husband and i were surrounded by some friends that are real in our life and some of, what i call, my dream friends (people that do not actually exist, but often pop up in my sleeping head.) we were deep in detective like conversation about the serial killings that were happening around us. the surroundings began to take shape as the conversation unfolded, sort of like they happen in a movie; where there is a description of events and places and the camera pans the location they are speaking about. the location was a large quarry with a giant mansion settled in to one of its ledges. the home was vibrant, but the surrounding were very gray and ominous looking. the dive bar happened to sit above the quarry and our homes were somewhere around, although never really shown in my dream. there was a television that was giving us the news of a serial killer in the area and the prime suspect was scott disick. anyone who has ever seen the kardashian shows would most likely agree that out of anyone on the E! network, scott would probably be the person voted most likely to be a creep ass killer. and yet, i was skeptical. we started to piece together the events and i started to argue with our group. is scott an ass? yes. but does being the world's most giant bag of douche make you a killer? not so much. i broke from the group and started a very video game like search for the killer. there were ledges to cross, clues that were grabbed by just the force of thought, and everything started to pull together. the video game like parts of my dream were vibrant, full of color and speed. the husband and i journeyed together and in picking up all the clues realized that it was actually rob kardashian that was the killer. and we brought it to everyone, who immediatly jumped to the defense of what they saw as such an innocent little guy, but the cops started to agree with me and finally i busted the case wide open. rob kardashian, serial killer. we found the clues all over the quarry and were congratulated for our hard work.
and then i woke up, because i could hear my little girl making noises from the other room and i knew that her dad did not have the same means to feed her that i did. and it took me a few minutes to realize what a crazy brain i live in. and i laughed. as much as i love my morning sleep in sessions, they send my dream brain to absolutely insane places. like i said, please do not judge me. you should hear about the crazy shit my mom dreams up!
lovely day in kerry land. we finally retrieved my summer wardrobe from storage and i found that last bit of motivation i need to lose the baby weight when absolutely nothing in my wardrobe fit me. i am going to dig down deep into my motivational bucket and pull that last bit out to help myself. i have been living in such a sad place for the last year and i am ready to help myself, finally. i need to do this because i want to feel better. the husband and ge went on a mother's day shopping trip and ge came home to tell me most of the presents that were bought and how excited he was to surprise me. chunk and i danced around the house a lot and i teared up several times thinking about how grateful i am to have the kids, the husband, and the family that i have.
i am looking forward to tomorrow because it is a day to reflect on my beautiful mother and the past that has brought me here today. it's like the facts of life always said : you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have. until tomorrow, goodnight and good wine.
5.06.2011
mommy blogging
i have to be honest, i used to look at stay at home moms and mock them in my head. how could that be difficult? how is that a job? don't you just sit at home and play with the little ones all day and snack? psh. stay at home moms.
and now, well now i understand that i couldn't have been more wrong about what a difficult job spending all day running evil minions and trying to keep your home clean is. if we are able to make it out if the house by noon it is a miracle. if by the time we make it out of the house i am not exhausted from the sheer effort that goes into getting to little kids and myself ready to leave, i surely am after we run our errands. strap in the car seats, unstrap and take one out, maybe hold the other baby or her in her car seat, don't touch that, no you can't have anything, why are you spitting at strangers, no we don't touch that, why are you even saying that, please stop crying we will be home soon, i am sorry i can't feed you, no you can't have cookies for dinner, seriously stop touching that, omg mommy has to go home before all of these people see her have a nervous break down. phew. it's so much.
and they are little tornadoes. in my next life i will never teach my children that toys exist, or i will just buy a puppy. i can clean the house and 5 minutes later everything is ruined. forget about eating in peace, either. the 3 year old thinks that as soon as i do something for myself he needs to jump in to make sure i am actually doing something for him. my life is cartoon theme songs, laundry, bedtimes, crazy arguments, weird sounds, tears, fights about food, diapers, bathroom floors covered in magical cleaning pee, toys, toys, more toys, and then we wake up and do it all over again. there is never a break. there is only calm after 9 pm and by then i am so exhausted that who even cares about the quiet. i look forward to the weekends and week nights after 7 because the closer comes home and the little monkeys attach to his gravitational pull and i feel less weight and my smile and my hair start coming back.
so, to all of the stay at home moms out there, i apologize for ever doubting you and i want to send out my love and respect for what you (we) do. this mother's day i hope that you all pat yourself on the back and sneak away for 5 minutes to enjoy a bit of silence.
and, because my mommy guilt will not allow me to end this post sounding so rude i must say - the smiles, the hugs, the cuddles, watching them grow up, being there to share all of the moments, singing the stupid theme songs with them, laughter, laughter, laughter, and more laughter, the walks, the trips out we turn into learning experiences, kissing them better, loving them every minute no matter what - those things make me love this staying at home and this being their mom. and sometimes, i may sneak in a moment to breathe so they don't see the cracks in my sanity, but when i walk out in the room again and they both smile up, happy to see me still, it reminds me that this is worth it. that the only place in the world i want to be is home, with them.
and now, well now i understand that i couldn't have been more wrong about what a difficult job spending all day running evil minions and trying to keep your home clean is. if we are able to make it out if the house by noon it is a miracle. if by the time we make it out of the house i am not exhausted from the sheer effort that goes into getting to little kids and myself ready to leave, i surely am after we run our errands. strap in the car seats, unstrap and take one out, maybe hold the other baby or her in her car seat, don't touch that, no you can't have anything, why are you spitting at strangers, no we don't touch that, why are you even saying that, please stop crying we will be home soon, i am sorry i can't feed you, no you can't have cookies for dinner, seriously stop touching that, omg mommy has to go home before all of these people see her have a nervous break down. phew. it's so much.
and they are little tornadoes. in my next life i will never teach my children that toys exist, or i will just buy a puppy. i can clean the house and 5 minutes later everything is ruined. forget about eating in peace, either. the 3 year old thinks that as soon as i do something for myself he needs to jump in to make sure i am actually doing something for him. my life is cartoon theme songs, laundry, bedtimes, crazy arguments, weird sounds, tears, fights about food, diapers, bathroom floors covered in magical cleaning pee, toys, toys, more toys, and then we wake up and do it all over again. there is never a break. there is only calm after 9 pm and by then i am so exhausted that who even cares about the quiet. i look forward to the weekends and week nights after 7 because the closer comes home and the little monkeys attach to his gravitational pull and i feel less weight and my smile and my hair start coming back.
so, to all of the stay at home moms out there, i apologize for ever doubting you and i want to send out my love and respect for what you (we) do. this mother's day i hope that you all pat yourself on the back and sneak away for 5 minutes to enjoy a bit of silence.
and, because my mommy guilt will not allow me to end this post sounding so rude i must say - the smiles, the hugs, the cuddles, watching them grow up, being there to share all of the moments, singing the stupid theme songs with them, laughter, laughter, laughter, and more laughter, the walks, the trips out we turn into learning experiences, kissing them better, loving them every minute no matter what - those things make me love this staying at home and this being their mom. and sometimes, i may sneak in a moment to breathe so they don't see the cracks in my sanity, but when i walk out in the room again and they both smile up, happy to see me still, it reminds me that this is worth it. that the only place in the world i want to be is home, with them.
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