firsts

today i was inaugurated into a very special parental club. the kind of parental club where other parents who have experienced this situation look at you with pity, and the ones who haven't look at you with concern / disgust / judgyness. ge gave me the chance to carry him out of the zoo, kicking and screaming, all while i tried to hold my smile on my face and not breakdown due to the overwhelming sense of embarrassment that i felt. oh, the fun you can have on a tuesday morning.

this all began as innocent as could be. an hour and someish into our zoo experience we had seen most of the animals, played at the park, laughed and had fun. over by the wood turtle that you can stick your head into to pretend to be a turtle, something that ge loves to do, i asked him to put his head in and we would take a picture for daddy. ge said no, with a smile. and so, i though, this would be a good time to offer him some ice cream in return for his smile. bad idea. worst. idea. ever.

this is the point in the day when my beautiful, cheerful little boy turned into a demonic, evil little monster child that decided to scream, and scream, and scream some more. no, he would not be taking that picture, but yes, he wanted that ice cream. and what do you mean that i don't get everything i want and don't get to act out like a crazy person when i don't get it. so he became stuck next to that turtle. screaming and carrying on and being completely unreasonable. he didn't want me to leave the turtle, but he didn't want to do anything by it, either. and so i picked him up and carried him out. i also had to drag him by his hand a few times, and keep him from trying to push the stroller backwards. such fun! and it's only tuesday! other words!

we drove home, ge screaming the entire way, and when we got here he calmed. i took him directly upstairs, turned on sesame street, and walked away for some minutes so we could both think about the next move. i calmly walked into his room, sat on his bed, and we discussed the events. we both agreed that his behavior was unacceptable. we both agreed that mac and cheese would make for a delicious lunch and that we would try the zoo again another time. and as i got up to make his lunch, he wrapped his arms around me and told me he was sorry.

mom shoots. she scores. she wins the battle!! crowd goes wiillllllld!!

that moment confirmed to me that i am pretty good at this being a mom job. i never flipped out during the entire time. i stayed calm, i carried that embarrassment and that screaming ge with my head held high. when we got in the car i turned on music and i listened to that and drowned out the screams. i never folded. i never fought back. i taught him that his screams were ineffective and were not going to get me. and they didn't. and in that moment where he hugged me and said that sweet little apology, i was filled to the brim with pride for both myself, and for him. and i have to spot the kid, he can throw one hell of a tantrum.