i would like to get back to blogging soon, mostly because i enjoy the creative output of writing.plus, i need a break from telling the kids to stop fucking with each other. if i have to stop one more argument over nothing i am going to start pulling my hair out.
our house has bee full of the plague for the last week - actually, since the beginning of 2013. so far this year i have suffered a miscarriage, the husband has suffered large amounts of stress at work, and the kids and i have been sick on and off every other week.
on the plus side ge man has been enjoying his gymnastics class, chunk has been a little more reasonable even though the has ramped up the drama, my husband has a job to support us, and i have a great amount of support and love surrounding me from family and friends.
the miscarriage was hard. we have been trying for over a year to get pregnant and were so excited to get the positive line 2 days before christmas. to be honest i felt something was amiss from the word go, but i wanted to believe that we would finally be getting the baby we have dreamed about so i pushed forward with hope. my pregnancy signals started and i thought this was going to be it, but at the six week mark i miscarried and was crushed. a lot of my girlfriends around me are either a.) newly pregnant b.) ready to give birth or c.) just gave birth this week and it has been an emotional struggle. i am super happy for everyone, but the quiet moments are hard and often full of tears. we are trying to be hopeful, but it's hard after the emotional struggle from the last year to keep my head up. i was amazed by the female support i have received through all of it, though, and am grateful to be surrounded by some amazing female friends.
chunk is doing really well and is talking up a storm. i tell everyone she lives life like she is writing a story and it is so true. there is always a scenario to play out, a mystery to solve, or a song to sing. she brings high energy and high drama to absolutely everything she does and is hard to keep up with some days. we are working on teaching her colors, but she simply cannot connect the words to the colors themselves. her recognition of animals is beyond anything i have ever seen, and she enjoys telling you what they say as loudly as she possibly can. she still loves reading books, is starting to enjoy crafting (although it never goes off without a lot of stress), and potty trained herself in two days (TWO DAYS!) her current favorite toys are her baby dolls and her doll house (filled with a variety of small plastic toys to create drama and happiness with). she prefers spicy food, loves her big brother more than life itself, and gives some damn fine hugs when she wants to be nice.
ge man has come light years from where he was when we first moved here. his playgroup has been super good for him and he has forged friendships that i didn't know he was capable of. our little ladies man has quite a few girls with crushes on him and he always enjoys making sure they are happy in the sweetest of ways. he is the most considerate little guy i have ever met and has a brain unlike any i have ever known. still a lover of all things rules, he is starting to be able to build a bit more structure for himself and is thriving under his new status as a 5 year old. he loves his legos, anything scientific, and creating art. his phineas and ferb birthday party was a huge success and i was amazed to see how many people showed up to celebrate him. i may or may not have cried many a time because i honestly don't know how he got this old so quickly. ge man is loving his gym class at the community center - so much so that i signed him up again through the spring. we also enrolled him in tball for the first time and i know the hubs is looking forward to taking him and watching his big guy do the sports thing. ge is insistent he will be an artist when he grows up, but is letting us push him a little in the activities direction. he is reading, wonderful at math, and loves to learn. he loves his little sister and tries not to be too annoyed that her favorite activity is pushing his buttons. i could write paragraphs on how far he has come, and how proud i am of him. he continues to amaze me daily.
we are grateful to be here, even on the hard days. the husband and i's anniversary is coming up soon and i am continuously grateful to be married to him and to have him in my corner. he works incredibly hard for this family and rarely complains. we are a lucky bunch.