shhhhhhhhh ...

chunk actually napped today. that makes the first time she has slept for more than 10 minutes in what seems like forever. when you don't get any sleep for weeks on end the days all seem to drift together; sort of like the lifetime movie network. i filled my time cleaning the crazy out of our home and answering question after question from ge. 3 year olds really have the words "what" and "why" on lock down.

"mom, what are these?"


"what kind of ducks?"

"yellow ducks."

"what kind of yellow ducks?"

"the kind of yellow ducks that don't say moo."

"why don't they say moo?"

"because they aren't cows."

"why aren't they cows?"

"because they are ducks."

"what kind of ducks?"

it sort of feels like a hardcore version of pete and repeat sitting on a fence except pete falls down a very alice in wonderland type well and someone is taking acid and the words just keep flying by in different sorts of font and size. it's just. that. intense.

30 for 30 starts tomorrow. i am hoping to get my blog on for 30 continuous days. it's about to get blogified up in kerry land. you have been warned.


ge : "mom, why is polly being drama?"

me : "i don't know. when you were a baby you didn't do that, though."

ge : "yeah, but now sometimes i am lots of drama."


bah bah blog roll

yesterday i took chunky in for her 6 month well check, and well check that ended in her not being well, which seems ironic. the fever and the screaming from her shots was a bit excessive this round, and i felt horrible for her when she woke up this morning and her injection sites on her legs were burning hot. i hate shots. i mean, i know that they are good for her and blah, blah, blah, but they suck. her doctor gave her the thumbs up before the nurses gave her her shots, and i breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she is doing well. you always assume they are, but you also always worry they are not. silly mom stresses.

i have decided to blog my way through the month of april and have committed to nablopomo for the 30 days. 30 days for the 30 years that i have been alive. i can't not believe i am going to be 30. if you would have asked 25 year old me if i would be in an amazing marriage with my best friend, the mother of 2 beautiful children, and living on the east coast when i was 30 i would have most likely fallen on the ground with laughter. i cannot believe what a difference a year makes, let alone 5. i am so proud of myself for being where i am today and instead of crying through my birthday i have decided to celebrate it. the last few years have been so fulfilling, and i am looking forward to more life.

i am sure there is more to say. i am sure that my son's addiction to mickey mouse is borderline crazy. i am sure that i am so damb sick of winter i could scream. seriously, wtf is up with all the cold weather, east coast? i need some spring. i need some walking weather. i need something other than bitter ass cold and windy. and now you are telling me that snow might be here in the next day or so? you can just eff the right off, mother nature. and with that i am off to recreate rice krispie eggs with ge like in the cute commercial; it looked like a good time, but i am thinking about turning them into monsters.


with or without lube

williams-sonoma always feel a bit like rape when i am checking out from my most recent purchase. when i purchased chunk's beaba babycook it felt a lot like rape - and that was only with two additional accessories. today i bought four jars for the food that were 30 dollars. and i hurt. and the guy who admired ge's mohawk as we checked out laughed when i told him i needed to take out a loan to afford all the goodness that his store has to offer.

my husband was hesitant when i told him that i wanted to purchase a 150 $ blender / steamer to cook the chunk's food. he saw the bargain that gerber had to offer in a jar, and i saw processed foods and chemicals in evil glass containers. he agreed to give in on the condition that i stop whining, and also promised that he would give my "hippie kid food needs" a chance.

so yesterday i plugged the babycook in and gave it a whirl. in 15 minutes the device has steamed a sweet potato to perfection. i dumped the orange potatoes from the steamer basket into the bowl, and the cooking water and blades whirled together with the starchy goodness and created a creamy, preservative free baby food that tasted - well, wonderful. and i don't even like sweet potatoes! i couldn't even stand the smell of ge's gerber baby food crap and i could have eaten a bowl of chunk's delicious first meal. now all we had to do is try in on the baby that loves boobs more than most men.

chunk wasn't too keen on it at first. part of that may have been because i allowed her 3 yr old brother to feed her her first few bites and he thought that he needed to jam the spoon down her throat. part of that was probably that she was confused why we would try and feed her anything else than teh milks because they are delicious. she started to figure out how to eat after about 10 minutes of trying, and she stated making less disgusted faces as the 1st feeding session went on.

no upset tummy today and we gave the leftovers another try - success! she enjoyed the orange goodness today and was starting to really understand the concept of a spoon. today she probably made it through about 3 tablespoons. we will have sweet potatoes again tomorrow before moving on to a green veggie on wednesday. tomorrow is doctor day, so i don't feel like we should try something new right after we have nurses stab her in the leg.

so my thoughts on the beaba baby? worth every freaking penny. you can cook veggies, fruits, pastas, rice, meats, and anything else blend-able in there. the clean up is easy and i am hoping that it will lend itself to expanding her palette at a young age. the cook book i got to go with it suggests starting in fresh herbs (like mint with peas) once she gets situated on solids. there are curries, rosemary salmon dishes, and the occasional delicious fruit combination. ge hates food with a passion and i am hoping that by starting the chunk of right we can avoid her craving potato chips rather than, oh, anything else.

ge is absolutely obsessed with mickey mouse club-house. i purchased him the little mickey and pluto stuffed animals last week. and today, as a treat, we went to the "mousey story" so he could pick out 3 more animals and 1 for chunk. he picked out minnie, daisy, and goofy for him and an adorable cat for chunk. my little boy, who is so all boy, will pick the girliest of stuffed animals and the pinkest of toys when you let him. i love the innocence of children, and hope that i can preserve his preferences without him finding out that society can be stupid and judgy for as long as possible.


recipe for success

glass of wine. indian chicken curry. sleeping kids. good conversation. angry birds. mma. retail therapy. and the hopes for an eventual night of sleep.

chunk finally slept last night. thank you, gods of teething. her second tooth was a bitch. and i don't mean a female puppy. or dog. apparently i like periods. tonight. this has been a long week, but tonight i feel better. lack of sleep and emotional stress are not my friends. neither are my neighbors. in fact, they have never brought me cookies. perhaps i should bring them some.

i am trying my hand at cross stitching. my sister told me that, "you just count." she was right! it's actually kind of easy. again, something related to a neighbor i once had.

charli is babbling. gage's favorite thing to do is ask us a question and then tell us we are wrong. i am ready for spring and for walks and for temperatures out of 40. over the hill temperatures. i am glad it is the weekend. i am glad that my husband is awesome. i am glad that i have leftovers for breakfast. and i am glad that my glass of wine is still half full.

Chunk. 6 Month edition


I have tried, several times actually, to sit down and write you the 6 month letter that you deserve. I wanted to be poignant and hilarious and loving all at once. I wanted this letter to be something that you read as an adult and it just floored you because you felt how happy we are to have you.  But I can’t. I can’t because your teething has kept your father and I awake for two days. Literally. Two. Days. I know it is not your fault, but this morning at 3 am I didn’t feel necessarily fond of you or your bottom teeth. At 1:30 this morning your father wasn’t very fond of your teeth either, but we definitely still love you. Even though we are exhausted and your 6 month letter will take a toll.

And yet, you have your moments of nothing but amazing. Your laughter is hilarious. You snort when you get super excited. You love to be entertained and to soak in everything that is around you. You love it when your brother knows you are bored and he comes running in the room to try and make you laugh. You are incredibly ticklish, which is fun because you are one of the chunkiest babies I have ever seen. You are constantly on the lookout for the next punch line, which is fun because all we have to do is cover out faces and say “boo!” to make you think we are hilarious. But we are. Even when we are sleep deprived. 

I have been reflecting on the last 6 months and I truly cannot believe how quickly they went. I strongly remember waiting to go in for my c-section to finally meet you and it felt like it took 20 times longer than these last 6 months. You are such an amazing baby. You are so sweet and so loving and everyone that gets to know you is just as amazed by you as your father and I are. Your temperament is unlike any child I have ever seen. You always have a smile, even if you are feeling awful. Every time I pick you up you nuzzle into my shoulder and hug me. You love to dance around the room and you adore any form of music. I love you because you can’t judge my out of pitch voice; you actually enjoy my rendition of the theme from Weeds quite a bit.

You have a crib, but you refuse to sleep in it. You prefer your swing while your father and I are awake and know instantly if we have gone to bed because you demand to sleep right next to us. I would argue, but I am often tired, and you are so squishy comfortable. You love to edge in right next to me and have the same ability as your brother to take up and entire queen sized mattress when you can’t even fill one yourself. You just keep growing out of clothing. We are probably going to have to start eating bargain brands just to keep you dressed. Seriously, Charli, how the hell does one baby grow at such a rapid rate!?

You love your brother. I mean that. You. Love. Him. And he loves that you love him, too. He constantly brings you toys to make you happy. As soon as you see him you light up. He tries to feed you bottles, brings me diapers when he decides you need to be changed, and watches you when I need him to. You both are such wonderful children and your Daddy and I feel constantly blessed to have the both of you. You have such an amazing gift of balancing everything in such a positive way.

Chunk, we love you. I wish this letter could have been full of better grammar and a better range of vocabulary. I wish that I could say something as meaningful as you are to us, but you have kept us awake for so long that I literally am thankful that I can even type. And that is okay. It’s okay because you are here and because you continue to bring such amazing things to our lives. We love you. We simply love you and adore all that you are. You are so chunky and so funny and you make all of those moments better. We are a family and that means everything to us. So keep teething, keep laughing, and most of all keep being you. By the time you can understand all of these words you will be an even more amazing version of yourself – but I honestly have no idea how you can accomplish that.

We love you. I love you.



it's a beautiful day in my neighborhood

it was 75 degrees here in pa today. 75 degrees, sunny, beautiful, and the air smelled of spring. if you have been on the east coast and dealt with this cold ass winter that came straight on the heals of a bitterly hot summer you know that 75 was a very welcome change. i opened my windows and doors. the fresh air flowed in and the little ones and i enjoyed every second of the day. a quick trip to the mall to finish up some anniversary present shopping for the husband, a quick grocery trip, a happy meal run, and we were back in time to put chunk down for a nap so ge and i could get our sidewalk chalk and bubbles on.

while riding in the car on the way to the mall my 3 year old was going through his round of asking the same question over and over and over again. when i stopped him and said, "ge, you know where we are going you don't have to keep asking," he burst out laughing. when i told him he wasn't funny he replied, "mom, you know i am funny." little kid is such a smarty ass pants.

out of nowhere in the car chunk realized that she now possessed the skills to blow raspberries. this was a definite first and it floored ge with laughter. he kept asking me why chunk was spitting all over the place and was laughing so hard every time she did that he had tears rolling down his cheeks. they literally sat in the back of the car for 15 minutes laughing at each other and spitting all over themselves. damb, i love those kids.

today has been a beautiful day in so many ways. i cannot explain how happy i am. this anniversary with my husband means so much to me. he means so much to me. the man is an amazing force of greatness in my life. in the last year he has stood by my side and just loved me for who i am and i have found parts of myself i never even knew existed. he is so passionate about our family, about our life. he works incredibly hard to provide us with a life where we can center around our kids. he is hilarious, charming, so so so sexy, and he loves all the food i cook for him. he gives a mean compliment, is an outstanding gift giver, and is beyond thoughtful. the man is one of the most amazing fathers that ever existed. his laughter is infectious and i love to hear him tell stories. he is such a strong and intelligent man and i just love him. it really is that easy; i just love him.

we spent every month of this year buying something for one another on the 18th, just a little something and always a card full of overly lovey-dovey crap, and it has been wonderful and so sweet. today he surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a pair of tiffanys earrings; an absolutely wonderful gift. just having him, just knowing i get to wake up by his side would have been more than enough, but i will never complain about boxes in blue. and that's just who he is. he loves to see the people that he loves smile. i am so lucky to have him. i am so lucky to have to beautiful children with such loud laughs and bright personalities. i am so lucky to have a wonderful family that supports my crazy ass, and good friends who always have a nice thing to say.

to quote ben folds five, "i am the luckiest."


excuses, excuses.

why haven't i been here, internet?: well, life has been happening. life has been happening so much that i am forgetting how to walk, or type, or even breathe for that matter. chunk turned into a monster, cut a tooth (working on #2 now), learned how to sit up, and started enjoying a bit of belly time. ge literally spends his free time sitting in his room practicing new and 3-year-oldery ways of saying the word "no". when he isn't screaming no at me we are busy building trains, learning to count in order (up to six, conceptually has the amount of 4 down), singing our alphabet, or listening to him tell me his favorite things (the color blue, blue's clues, percy the train, bob the builder, and ice cream). and my husband decided to top off my ultimate stress level by angering someone so badly that he threatened his life, resulting in a restraining order being place against the guy and my husband making jokes that i did not appreciate. i don't know why men cannot understand that their fight training does not, in fact, stop fracking bullets. rabble.

so i have been busy. plus, i have had family in town. we spent and awesome few days with my mom and my sister, flashy soup can. and in the middle of their visit we had a rainstorm that literally flooded the schuylkill and we had the chance to wander around and look at the houses-turned-islands and magical disappearing roads. east coast storms are bad asses.

and right now i should really be cleaning my house, but i am not. obviously. i will get there, though, as it is my husband and i's favorite holiday (st pattys!) and it is our anniversary tomorrow. my husband is the shit and i absolutely love being married to him and we are both so excited to just celebrate us tomorrow. because we rule. and are cooler than school. and way more awesome than drool. threatened, kanye? you're not the only one that can drop a sick ass rhyme.


how not to clean on a weekend

I had many hopes for this weekend. Those hopes were a spring-cleaned home, a smell of bleach throughout that spring-cleaned home, and a marathon watching of cheesy Lifetime movies while accomplishing said goals. To say I failed would be to say that I didn't succeed in some ways, but my goals were only 35.6 percent achieved, and the home that I am typing this message from is nowhere near spring-cleaned. And Lifetime, well, I hope that they are achieving their viewership goals in other ways because I in no way contributed.

Instead of goal smashing I let my poor sick husband sleep in on Saturday. I played with my kids, made circus shaped waffles, and went about my tasks at a pace that would make snails mock me. I did, however, get some goals knocked out. My closet is a shining example of a solid hour and fifteen minutes of work, my husband's closet has been eradicated of man slop, the clutter has been removed from our living room, and my storage unit is the proud owner of all the shit I didn't want in my house anymore.

Last night I was certain that I would tackle today and finish up all of the things I didn't accomplish yesterday. There was going to be dusting and vacuuming and bleaching and pine-sol galore. I was even going to jam out to music to up my production level, but I changed my mind after my Husband let me sleep in for a half an hour extra. I changed my mind because we only have so much time to actually enjoy the weekend. I changed my mind because the Pennsylvania state lottery system has been good to me and I had 70$ worth of scratchies to turn in and I felt like putting them to use. We worked on a few chores today, the necessary ones to make my house cleaning goals accomplish-able tomorrow, and then I decided to grant a break upon my family.

With 70$ of cash in my pocket I decided that the best thing we could do was venture out of the house, head to the best grocery store we know, buy some beautiful New York Strip steaks and a bottle of amazing Napa Cellars 2007 wine. We came home and built trains with Ge. We played silly games with Chunk that filled out house with infectious infant laughter. And when the kids went to bed I put the Husband and I's steak in the cast iron skillet as the wine took a bit of time to breathe. Dinner was amazing. I am hoping that the episode of Big Love that is coming up in 5 minutes will be amazing. And my house doesn't have a voice, so I do not worry about the backlash from my laziness. To be honest. spending a weekend with my kids and my husband was way more awesome than cleaning. And, there is always tomorrow.


maybe she's born with it, maybe it's flashy soup can

It may be a bit early (but only by three hours, people, and she is the most awesome soup can of them all!) But I want to wish a very happy birthday to my sister, Flashy Soup Can. My sister has always been there for me, no matter the issue in life. When we were younger she was there to soothe me with her brilliant Kermit the Frog impression, didn't kill me when I went all crazy in my sleep on her, and (the most important thing) she had Color Me Badd cassette tape that I could totally steal when she was out playing the flute or being her awesome self. She once had me deliver a pizza to a boy that said "yes" while I did a bit of a tap dance. Did she exploit me? Maybe. Did I want to be her more than anything else in the world? You bet your ass.

And now that we are older we sit around fires and tables and anything else that one sits around and we drink wine, talk about our kids, discuss politics, or make fun of people because we are awesome and they are ridiculous. Our relationship has finally matured into something that I love beyond words. And yes, she still is my hero. And yes, if I grew up to be anything like her I would be more than proud. My sister is an amazingly strong woman. She is beautiful and smart. She could drink you under the table and then embarrass you with a verbal slaughter that would make your mother blush. She is a wonderful cook, a brilliant photographer, and she can sing so beautifully that it will give you chills.

So a very happy birthday to my sister, my friend. I may not have always been the best little sister, but I have never stopped loving you and admiring you. I am so happy that we live close again and that my children have such an amazing Aunt to be around. I hope that we get to see you soon. <3


Rush hour in center city Philadelphia.

we'd watch what we say, but words are invisible

overheard out of the 3 year old's mouth recently :

"oh shit, mom, i forgot all my pacies!"

"mom, i need you to fix the roof on this car because it fell off and i was like, damnit damnit damnit!"

(on waiting until tuesday for his nana to come visit and with irritation) "well she should just come today!"

"mom, when i grow up i will have a baby and feed it with my booms."