and then i fell asleep

i keep meaning to update my blog. there is so much to say about the little ones and i feel like i am going to forget all of these moments because there are just so many to remember. from ge saying things like the mini adult he is a chunk running around growling like a bear; there are just so many moments in our day i wish i could capture. but by the time i have a minute at the end of the day to sit down and update - i am completely asleep. gone to this world. last night i was asleep in bed by 8:45. i haven't seen 10:30 pm in weeks.

i love that chunk is walking by her first birthday because she is finally sleeping through the night, but i spend all day chasing her around the house screaming things like, "ahhh!" and "oh no!" and "please, for the love of mark wahlberg, don't do that!" because she is full of evil, that one. she has mastered the art of full body on the floor tantrums and will throw one if you don't allow her to take things out of the fridge when she sneaks in during food time. she also throws them when i don't let her eat paper, or crayons, or kittens. ok, maybe not kittens, but if we had one i would fear for its safety. she is so cute, and when she looks up at me with her big dimply smile and bright blue eyes i almost forget for a moment that she is trying to drive me mad. i often look at her and i pause for a moment just to take her in because she is the cutest thing i have ever laid eyes on - even if that means in those 2 seconds she has moved on to destroying my most prized possessions.

ge is 3 going on 40. we asked him to play trains the other day and he declined stating, "we will have to wait until charli goes down for a nap because she will wreck my trains and i will just freak out." true. oh. so. very. true. he is still, and always has been, the most responsible child in the world. he is the child that has every piece to every toy he has ever owned (which is a lot of toys) and is now becoming irritated by chunk's inability to maintain order and longevity in toys. he is so full of imagination and loves to tell stories. he can tell you the story of his day in roughly 5 minutes and will makes sure you understand every word of what he says. his favorite bed time book is cloudy with a chance of meatballs, and he insists you tell it in your normal voice and let him repeat his favorite moments. he loves to visit monuments around towns and have them explained to him so he can take them in for next time to be a mini tour guide of our beautiful area. we learned about canal locks yesterday and already this morning he has told me about water flow by our big river. he is a little sponge, soaking up moments and lessons and is able to release that information at all of the right times. i marvel at his intellect daily, and fear for the day when he is smarter than me. that could be any day now.

husband and i are doing well, aside from the exhaustion from that thing called life. work is going well for the husband and they ended their fiscal year in an exceptional place. he is so amazing at his job and i love watching him grow in that position. we had his mother in town for a few days which was a learning experience. ge enjoyed getting to know her, but chunk was weary of her which is strange for our little girl. we attribute it to her age, but it was quite funny watching her size her grandma up constantly. we visited landmarks and ate ice cream and had a lovely visit. husband and i are both looking forward to more people being in town this coming weekend to celebrate chunk's first birthday and also her cousin's birthday (they fall on the same day - celebration time!) we have many things to celebrate aside from birthdays now, too, which makes this coming weekend all the more exciting.

things are going well. i never though i could be that person that is asleep by 9 and up at 6:30 am with coffee in hand, but here i am. i cannot believe how quickly the last year has gone and how much all of us in this house have changed, but i have never learned more in a years time and i have never had such a full heart.

today was the day

every once in a while one of those days comes along that redefines perfection - today was that day for my little family. the last 3 + weeks we have been in a funk. my cooking has suffered, husband's work has suffered, the kids have been miserable in the heat; it just hasn't be noteworthy in so long that i think we started to give up. and today, today we didn't even try to turn it around, but it naturally fell into place and today i am so grateful, because i needed that ... we needed that.

the kids loved the phillies game. when we first got there it started to rain, heavy rain, but the clouds parted and our seats stayed dry. ge was worried at first, but he quickly warmed when the players and the sun came out. we got a game, a good game. we left during the top of the 7th after the score reached 4 - 1, phillies. a perfect time to leave because when we came home the kids were bathed and happily put to bed and the husband and i ordered ufc 131.  (phillies over cubs, 7 - 1 in the end.)

my husband and i, we work together for so many reasons. the most important, and cliche reason, is that we are best friends. we are, best friends. we share passions, and when we don't we remain involved no matter what. we share a love for ufc and it energizes us and brings us to a great place. tonight we were not going to order the fights, but we did, and we made the right decision. tonight has been nothing but conversation and smiles and my jaw bones are sore from the happiness that today has brought. this has been one of those days where i feel lucky, and these days are the moments i carry because i know we will always be back here no matter what.

this is the day i have needed for weeks. today makes all of the previous day's tears worth it. this life, this life is beautiful. i thank my husband and my kids. i thank my family. i thank the east coast. i thank my sister, my friends, my mother, and every good person i have had the opportunity to meet. i thank the bad times, because without them, i would have never known good. i am just thankful.

cheesy? yes. but i would write it again, and again.

on ode to the girls

i am babysitting my sister's dogs currently. they are all females, a bit on the neurotic side, and super sweet with my kids. they are a good reminder that although i think puppies are cute and i want to bring them all home, the husband and i are in no way ready for a dog. we keep wanting to buy one because we love them, but wow ... kids are enough responsibility.

as a tribute to the dogs i have written a song for them. step back, beyonce, my lyrical stylings are about to get all up in your business. check it :

all my doggie ladies, all my doggie ladies

all my doggie ladies, all my doggie ladies

all my doggie ladies, all my doggie ladies

all my doggie ladies

now put you paws up, paws up

stuck in the house, we can't get out, 

we're doing our own doggie thing

decided to chew, because we miss you

when you're out of the house

we're up on here, we're up on there

don't pay rules any attention

we bark and howl, while you are out

ya can't be mad at us

cause if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

don't be mad when you see our pee on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

roof roof roof, 

roof roof roof roof 

roof roof 

roof roof roof 

roof roof roof, 

roof roof roof roof 

roof roof 

roof roof roof

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

don't be mad when you see our pee on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

we got pee on the floor, an unopen door

keeps us inside doing our business

throwing up, colorful junk

on the couches and carpet

oh and did we mention, we want bacon

and some love and affection

will you please come home, we're tired of being alone

we want scratches and some fresh water

cause if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

don't be mad when you see our pee on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

roof roof roof, 

roof roof roof roof 

roof roof 

roof roof roof 

roof roof roof, 

roof roof roof roof 

roof roof 

roof roof roof

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

don't be mad when you see our pee on it

if you liked it then you shoulda put a leash on it

roof roof roof, 

roof roof roof roof 

roof roof 

roof roof roof 

roof roof roof, 

roof roof roof roof 

roof roof 

roof roof roof

please don't be mad when we poo on the floor

it's just that damn closed door

opposable thumbs we'd prefer, what we deserve

your shoes are delicous, don't leave us

and get angry and unhappy when we chew them all up

pull us on to your lap, give our heads a soft pat 

if you don't, we'll all be bad, and chewing mayhem, will be had

all my doggie ladies, all my doggie ladies

all my doggie ladies, all my doggie ladies

now put your paws up, paws up! 

roof roof roof

joy, the sweetest

maybe i ate a chili dog for breakfast. and maybe i covered that chili dog in cheese and red onions and hot sauce. and maybe i enjoyed every single bite of it. maybe.

yesterday during my yay-i-finally-can-sit-down-and-play-on-the-internet(!) time i was catching up on all of my favorite blogs (listed over there on the right, in case you didn't notice). i made my way over to joy the baker dot com and started reading her recipe for gluten free strawberry cupcakes and i was just so excited to see a flour girl show the gluten free crowd some love, especially since my sister is part of that gluten free crowd (a life changing thing for her, YAY!)  i noticed half way in that this post was also a contest and up for grabs were not only the cookbook for gluten free cupcake, but also the coconut flour and arrowroot powder necessary to make them. holy gluten free cooking awesomeness, batman!

the criteria for the comment was to tell her what you did this weekend out of your comfort zone, and i did, but mostly i told her about how my wonderful sister had to go out of her comfort zone over the last year to rid her life of her beloved friends, pasta and bread, because they were literally harming her and her body. i also told her how wonderful it is that she was showing the gluten free crowd some love. and that i would love the book and flours so i could give them to my sister and demand that she bake me cupcakes every time i have the chance to come down to see her so we could eat cupcakes and drink wine (yum!)

seeing as i am a person who has never won anything i have learned to curb my anticipation for the luck of the draw, so i was very surprised this morning to see an email titled, "hi from joy". and i was super excited that she was so sweet to give this gift to me, so i could be the most thoughtful regifter ever. if that is something that one could be. i am excited and my sister is excited and she said that she will even let me have two (2!) cupcakes when she makes them. i couldn't have more support for brook and her gluten free life, especially because the bread is delicious and it is always fun to try new things when we go to her house.

and seriously, she made a gluten free rum cake that was to die for this christmas and you would have never said, "well there is no flour in this" because you would have been far too busy just eating and eating and eating. gluten free is just assumed to be not so good, but those assumptions are so far off and that community deserves all the love they can get because that life is expensive and often very inconvenient. did you know things like midol and crystal light have gluten in them? and that when people who have gluten intolerances have  gluten they in turn have horrible reactions? that. just. sucks. most people don't have to worry about the realities of gluten allergies, but i have come to understand just what a solid pain in the ass it is.

so thank you to joy the baker for not only being an awesome blogger, but for making my morning. i love the internet and the blog-o-sphere because of people like her. and because people write funny things on pictures that make me laugh. and because of wikipedia.

aside from the joy love, my little chunky princess started feeding herself today! one puff at a time, deliberate hand to mouth action; it's a huge moment in her motor skill milestones! she is currently sitting next to me playing with her favorite toy she owns, a water bottle, and looking so proud of herself. and i know that i wrote about this over on flickr, but that little chunk, she just warms my heart. her smile and her happiness are infectious, and she always fills me with ooey gooey good feelings. puppies, unicorns, kittens, and rainbows - oh my! i wanted to share this video with you all, which doesn't truly do the chunk's cuteness justice, but it just feels like such a good moment to share with my fellow internet stompers. and so, i leave this post of gratitude for joy the baker, with a shared gratitude for baby smiles. in particular, my baby's smiles.

a good excuse becomes a simple reason

i really wanted to edit and post my pictures of our wonderful easter and include a story or two, but instead i woke up with an abscessed tooth, spent the afternoon at urgent care, and have been battling the crazy heat along with a wonderful bout of extreme nausea. typing words is making my stomach churn even more. this. is. lame.

and in all honesty i am currently detoxing from zoloft (have been for 4 days now) and it is absolutely horrible. the zaps are miserable, the constant sickness, debilitating depression, hot / cold spells, headache, numbness, tears, and all of the other evils that come with withdrawal. i would have never, never, gone on zoloft if someone explained to me that when i got off of it i would literally go through withdrawals; it's horrible. i could write a p.s.a. about the evils of that effing drug, but i have to go throw up, again.

so yes, the last four days have been horrible. easter was wonderful and my family is amazing, but i have been in the heat of a losing battle and it doesn't really feel like it is getting any better. i read that zoloft detox takes a week or a few months. and i wouldn't have gone off of it, but i literally was becoming alarmingly suicidal and it took me sitting down after a long crazy conversation with my sister to realize that something was going on in my brain that wasn't healthy. and so, as a grown ass adult who needs to reach in and find her coping skills, i got off of that drug and am going to learn to manage my anxiety and my ocd the old fashioned way ... by sucking it up.

after suffering postpartum depression with my son i welcomed in the damb drug with open arms when my obgyn gave me a prescript when my daughter was born. and it helped for a while. but after getting my dose upped to 150 mg things started to get out of control. i didn't even realize that i was spending most of my days deep in thoughts of horrible things i could do to myself and it never really occurred to me that something was wrong with that. and looking back on it the longer i took zoloft the more depressed i became and that is what made me decide i needed more and so on. the effing drug is a vicious cycle with no rinse option.

and yes, maybe this is a little bit of blog t.m.i., but maybe someone will read this and they will understand my message - zoloft is teh evils. i would have told you different a few months ago, but i was wrong. very wrong. and ytf don't doctors tell you that when you go off of it you will literally go insane(r)? my heart beat is completely irregular right now and the doctor at urgent care just said, "yep, going off that drug is really hard." i feel like doctors should tell you that you will have to go through all of these things, because i never would have gone on it. if my doctor would have said, "well, it's going to help balance your hormones out after the pregnancy, but eventually it will make you incredibly depressed and you will think that suicide is a great option. and then, when you realize that that is in no way healthy because the person that is inside of you that isn't on crazy drugs loves her life and definitely wants to live, you will get off of it and horrible things will happen to you. you will be sitting on the couch and it will feel like someone literally shocked your brain and then you will feel dizzy and then you will spend an entire morning crying for no reason and feel a sadness that is heavier than any blanket you have ever felt. here, take this pill." i would have been forced to punch my doctor and tell him / her abso-fracking-lutely not. and, are you freaking stupid? no one should feel any of those things.

and there you have it. if that doesn't fit the april theme of "sprout" for nablopomo, i don't know what does. i am sprouting back to myself. i am remembering, again, that i don't need all the crazy stuff and i just need to be surrounded by the wonderful people i love. life has its hard moments, but looking back on all of it i am thrilled to be here today. and, ask anyone who knows me, i can be drama.

please send my tooth infection negative thoughts and tell it you don't want it around me anymore. make it feel really bad about itself because it is killing me. 4 more days of antibiotics and hopefully only a few more days of withdrawal. i told the husband tonight that i do feel like i am going to come out of this in a few days and i will feel like me again. the real me that isn't completely insane. the drama me, but not the drama me that bawls all night and says horrible things i really don't feel. i miss me. i miss my own brain and my own feelings and not being a blue robot.

remember, kids, just say no to drugs. all of them.

happy to be home

i want to write about my weekend. i want to say positive things about my sister, her husband, their child, and my many thankful thoughts towards them for watching our children. i want to tell you all that my sister somehow fixed all of ge's eating issues and tonight he decided that fish sticks were something he was going to eat, after falling in love with pesto pizza. i want to say that dinner was amazing, and that my husband and i are still reaping the benefits of a night to ourselves. i want to, but i am so relaxed. i had one of those weekends that makes me so grateful to be home because i feel like me again. i had one of those weekends that brings you peace in your heart and in your mind. i had one of those weekends that i will be grateful to all those involved for the remainder of my days.

and now, we relax.

learning as we go

ge is currently slouched over in his chair, becoming more and more of a pouty lump as the minutes tick by. occasionally he will spring from his chair and exclaim, "mom, it's one o'clock yet?". and i reply no, again, for the eleventy billionth time. lesson learned :

next time we are going to see aunt brook, do not tell the mini, until we are literally heading out the door, that we are going for a visit. he just gets so excited; he won't eat, he sleeps horribly, and he spend every waking moment asking when the hell we are going and thinking that his dad and i are completely incompetent and idiotic because why in the eff wouldn't we just leave now!? that little guy loves him some aunt brook. her house is a magical place full of puppies and happiness. why wouldn't he love it? we do, too.

(i failed to mention in my last post that the same pouty pants 3 year old also hilariously asks me, "mom, what's so funny about?" anytime i burst out laughing over something.)

of course the forecast for saturday is rain, rain, thunder, wind, and a bit more rain. so plans to wander the streets of annapolis are most certainly not a go, but delicious food and a bit of adult time with my husband is. i am getting really damb sick of all of this weather and i know that everyone else, from the west to the east is, too.

giving 30 before 30

my 30th birthday is in 2 days. in the spirit of living 3 decades i have decided to make a list. i am calling this my 30 people, place, events, and / or things that i have loved before 30 list. it's a lengthy title, but my life has been, as well. 

and now, in a not not random order, my 30 people, place, events, and / or things that i have loved before 30 list:

• red lodge, montana. for the years and years of experiences i have had there. not limited to, but including: the hotel, the hot tub, the pool, the laughs, the drinks, the drives, and the family memories. 
• living in the same apartment complex as my sister for some wild and crazy years. we lived, we laughed, we drank a bit too much, and one time some guy with a mullet threatened us. also, pink fucking sauce.
• pool league. at one time i actually beat one of the top ranked women in utah. also included is playing in the diviest of dive strip clubs in magna, utah. 
• avalanches and risqué behavior as a high school student during school hours. end of story. 
• also in high school; receiving my fire fighting 1, haz mat certification, and emt-b with a class of all males and being called, "one of the boys."
• certainly, of course, the birth of my first child. the events surrounding his entrance to the world were traumatic, but he changed me in every way for the better. we gave each other the life we always needed.
• fire pits with my family. yes, we are loud, obnoxious, and probably speak over each other too often, but we have a damn good time doing it. 
• the time they lit fire works off of our rental car in cowley, wyoming. 
• cowley, wyoming. full of my family, a wonderful parade every year, and a teenage dance where i did some teenage things. the smell of cowley, and the happiness of being there, will always feel like home.
• throwing a snowball at a buffalo in yellowstone when i was a very young girl because it wouldn't move.
• karaoke bowling with a big group of friends. girls just wanna have fun. 
• i ran over a bunny, once, coming home from a trip to montana / wyoming. and even though we were blasting slipknot in my sweet little isuzu, i burst into tears. i now call all of our hopping friends by our house my little bunny bunnies.
• the thousands of different haircuts and hairstyles that i have been through throughout the years. 
• moving to new mexico. damn, i miss the food. i miss the people. and i miss our home.
• of course, chunky being born. the husband and i had such a surreal experience that week. she gave us a family and all we have her was life; it doesn't seem like a just trade.
• receiving the title of miss raz mataz. hell, just dancing as a little girl meant the world to me. i will always remember a decent shuffle - ball - change.
• my mother, sitting in mormon church so many moons ago, singing a beautiful song with tears rolling down her face on father's day. there was so much power and emotion. 
• my sister, key west, dixie chicks cover - her beautiful voice singing on the patio is still something i can hear when i close my eyes. 
• i hated me some tubby brothers, but somehow being included in my brother's games, even if they hurt me, meant a lot to me as a child. 
• my sister's chemistry set. 
• the day my husband tried to break my arm and i wound up getting punched in the jaw by his dad.
• yes, that was a lot of fun.
• key west. spending a week spending too much money with all of the coolest people i know - getting kicked out of sloppy joes - i mean, really, what beats that?
• the time a group of friends and i went hiking up to the hot pots in the middle of the night after watching blair witch project and dustin from walla walla jump out of the bushes and literally sent our friend screaming bloody murder down at least a mile of the mountain.
• hiking delicate arch by full moon.
• being a mom, a wife, a sister, and a daughter. and taking that roll very seriously.
• all of the music that has been the soundtrack to this crazy 30 year roller coaster that has been my life. honorable mentions go to (first and foremost) sublime, color me badd, the violent femmes, boys 2 men, slipknot, jewel, eagles, tom petty, ian anderson, garth brooks, and jay-z.
• moving to pa
• my wedding week with my amazing husband. 
• the weekends, the days, the minutes, the moments, the everything that i stick into that seconds that is my life. it may not have always been perfect, but after thirty years i am in such an amazing place and i can honestly say; i simply couldn't ask for more.  

burning bush? i think not

this may very well be tmi, but i am dying over here from continuous hot flashes. i so enjoy nursing my little chunk, but my hormones are so out-of-whack that i often feel like stripping off my clothes and hiding out in the freezer. if i wear anything more than a t-shirt, no matter what the weather, i am so miserable that it is unbearable. people look at me like i am a crazy woman when i am walking around in flip flops and t-shirt in the freezing cold weather, but every time they glance at me with the crazy looks i just want to scream at them, "you do not understand me! leave me alone to deal with my fifty thousand degree body in peace!" men just do not understand how much we women go through to produce evil little offspring and keep them happy and healthy.

last night my husband informed me that he took my sister's advice and made reservations at the chart house in annapolis for us for my birthday. he managed to snag us reservations for a table overlooking the water at sunset. not only will this be our first real date (by real i mean one where i wasn't miserably pregnant and feeling awful) in over a year and almost a half. he informed me that we will not be looking at any prices on the menu and that my only thing i have to do that night is enjoy myself. i am so excited. i cannot think of a better way to celebrate my crazy 30 years of life than expensive food and over-priced wine. there will be indulgence and it will be delicious. i love me some romance and i love me some husband.

i am typing this blog in the middle of the day because chunk is actually napping, again (that's 2 days in a row!) and ge is happily consuming tater tots and ketchup for lunch. how i met your mother is playing in the background and i am actually calm for the first afternoon in a while. i am enjoying the rain outside and the cool weather. there is a giant chicken to be roasted with lemons and garlicks for dinner, and the husband is bringing home fresh bread and salted butter to enjoy without regret. there is so much of friday night to enjoy ahead of me and a weekend with my wonderful family. i love being on the eve of weekends; it always lifts my mood to a better place.

knee deep in "it"

for the past few weeks we have been trying to teach the 3 year year old the concept of sharing - something that be believes is third in line of bull-shit-things-he-has-to-do. third only to going to bed, and leaving the park. we started slowly; chunk should be able to have one of his toys when she plays in his room, but has to give it back before she leaves. this week we have moved more into making him share one of his toys at any given time in any given room. he is fine with sharing, as long as it isn't with his baby sister. but a breakthrough came today by way of goldfish crackers, and ended in her being able to play with one of mickey mouse's friends (pluto, to be exact, but they are his current prized possessions.) thank goodness the chunk already has an affinity for salty cracker goodness, or the clubhouse friends would have been out tonight as well.

the husband is away watching the phillies lose to the mets right now and i have the pleasure of spending all day in the madness that is two children. when my sister called tonight i relished every second of speaking to someone that doesn't spit, say ba-ba, or speak in tongues every five seconds. it isn't that i want to complain, because i love being a stay at home mom, but woah - that's a lot of kid time, batman.

but i am here with my friends, wine and silence. i am watching the phillies game, listening to the effing wind blow in more cold to the region, and typing happily away on my laptop; it could be worse. to be absolutely fair to the kids; i love the husband, but it is kind of nice to have some kerry time tonight, too. i very much enjoy my moments of silence, and when the become scarce (like lately), i seem to drink them in as if it has been years since i have had the quench of nothing.

i have been thinking about my birthdays leading up until the big three-oh, and the one that always comes to my mind is my 21st. my sister and i at wasatch pub in park city; i ordered a beer and the waiter didn't even check my i.d., we wound up at port o' call drinking i.r.a. car bombs that same night. we ended the festivities with family in las vegas listening to a crazy limo driver tell us inappropriate jokes, watching the amazing johnathan at the golden nugget, and me getting so drunk at the night club that i could only remember to take out my contacts after a cab ride i don't remember. oh to be young, dumb, and partying with the coolest woman i know. i am looking forward to this birthday. dinner with my amazing husband in one of my favorite towns, and then spending time with that same coolest woman and her equally awesome husband. i love that i have gotten to that moment in life where it isn't how drunk i get, but the quality of people that i get to celebrate life with.

in keeping with randomly mentioning the theme of april's nablopomo, i have to mention that family has been my greatest source of sprouting, and most likely until the end of time. family has been a center in my life, and those who know me best know that without a doubt (okay, but maybe with a bit of a laugh) and i hope to share that with my children. i hope that my children always grow up knowing how much family means and that no matter what, they are always there. we all sprout as family, and though we may always be at different places in the growing process, all we can hope is that the youngest ones catch up in the end. i know i am glad i have.

excuses, excuses.

why haven't i been here, internet?: well, life has been happening. life has been happening so much that i am forgetting how to walk, or type, or even breathe for that matter. chunk turned into a monster, cut a tooth (working on #2 now), learned how to sit up, and started enjoying a bit of belly time. ge literally spends his free time sitting in his room practicing new and 3-year-oldery ways of saying the word "no". when he isn't screaming no at me we are busy building trains, learning to count in order (up to six, conceptually has the amount of 4 down), singing our alphabet, or listening to him tell me his favorite things (the color blue, blue's clues, percy the train, bob the builder, and ice cream). and my husband decided to top off my ultimate stress level by angering someone so badly that he threatened his life, resulting in a restraining order being place against the guy and my husband making jokes that i did not appreciate. i don't know why men cannot understand that their fight training does not, in fact, stop fracking bullets. rabble.

so i have been busy. plus, i have had family in town. we spent and awesome few days with my mom and my sister, flashy soup can. and in the middle of their visit we had a rainstorm that literally flooded the schuylkill and we had the chance to wander around and look at the houses-turned-islands and magical disappearing roads. east coast storms are bad asses.

and right now i should really be cleaning my house, but i am not. obviously. i will get there, though, as it is my husband and i's favorite holiday (st pattys!) and it is our anniversary tomorrow. my husband is the shit and i absolutely love being married to him and we are both so excited to just celebrate us tomorrow. because we rule. and are cooler than school. and way more awesome than drool. threatened, kanye? you're not the only one that can drop a sick ass rhyme.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's flashy soup can

It may be a bit early (but only by three hours, people, and she is the most awesome soup can of them all!) But I want to wish a very happy birthday to my sister, Flashy Soup Can. My sister has always been there for me, no matter the issue in life. When we were younger she was there to soothe me with her brilliant Kermit the Frog impression, didn't kill me when I went all crazy in my sleep on her, and (the most important thing) she had Color Me Badd cassette tape that I could totally steal when she was out playing the flute or being her awesome self. She once had me deliver a pizza to a boy that said "yes" while I did a bit of a tap dance. Did she exploit me? Maybe. Did I want to be her more than anything else in the world? You bet your ass.

And now that we are older we sit around fires and tables and anything else that one sits around and we drink wine, talk about our kids, discuss politics, or make fun of people because we are awesome and they are ridiculous. Our relationship has finally matured into something that I love beyond words. And yes, she still is my hero. And yes, if I grew up to be anything like her I would be more than proud. My sister is an amazingly strong woman. She is beautiful and smart. She could drink you under the table and then embarrass you with a verbal slaughter that would make your mother blush. She is a wonderful cook, a brilliant photographer, and she can sing so beautifully that it will give you chills.

So a very happy birthday to my sister, my friend. I may not have always been the best little sister, but I have never stopped loving you and admiring you. I am so happy that we live close again and that my children have such an amazing Aunt to be around. I hope that we get to see you soon. <3